Lithium
by Mrs.Sabaku119
Summary: Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside. Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without... Lithium, stay in love with you. Oh, I'm gonna let it go. -Song Fic... ShikaIno


**Okay, so I was thinking.. I wanna do a challenge?**

**If you haven't read my story, "Missing", that is my first addition to the challenge.**

**Kiki-chan gave me the challenge. I have to pick between 5 and 10 Evanescence songs and imply them to Naruto characters' lives.**

**Here is part two!**

_**Summary: **__Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside. Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without... Lithium, stay in love with you. Oh, I'm gonna let it go._

**Name; **Lithium...

**Main Couples; **ShikaIno...

**Genre; **Angst, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance...

**Rated; **'M' for language, abuse, death, (rape?) and just plain weirdness...

**Status; **Complete...

**Time; **Maybe about two years after Asuma died... *AU*

**WARNING: **There is abuse and sexual content in this! So don't come whining to me about things, alright? I put up this big warning sign! There also may be death in it too, so caution! Thanks, guys!

**Lithium**

Ino gulps as she starts the letter to her husband of eleven months. He had been recently more aggressive to her and has been drinking and doing drugs even more. Its scares her. She has no idea what to do. Run away? Ask for divorce? Give up on life? She doesn't know.. And it scares her that she has to make the decision. He's the smart one. Why can't he do it?

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside._

_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without..._

_Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow._

_Shikamaru,_

_I sorry to do this to you, baby. I love you, you know that right? You love me too, right? You love me. I know you do. So, loving me means you want happiness for me, also, right? You would want this for me since you love me so much. You want me to be happy and free. I don't want to forget you. You won't forget me. So I'll take a little piece of you with me. It would feel lonely without something keeping me company. Something reminding me of you. Of everything you put me through. Good and Bad._

_Oh but God, I wanna let it go._

_I want to forget you, though. Well, part of me does. I want to forget the pain and sorrow you've kept me in. What happened to us? We were so happy together. We've been best friends since birth, right? So it's normal that we would be lovers. That we would get married. But why? Why can't we be happy anymore?_

_Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone._

_Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show._

_Where do you go? When you're not away on missions, I mean. Is it to hang out with the guys like you say? Not always, right? Because Sasuke is usually busy, especially with that knew baby. Naruto has Sakura to take care of. Chouji is gone. Kiba is busy with Shino usually. Neji is busy with the clan and Lee is gone. Who do you go to? Temari? Her? I don't make you happy enough anymore? You gave yourself away, babe. Her make up, I found it. Her number, I threw it away. Her picture, I burnt it._

_Never wanted it to be so cold._

_Just didn't drink enough to say you love me._

_It's so lonely without you around. You made me leave my parents and give up work. What can I do without you around now my life is gone? My world, you took. You are my world. You're drunk again. I can smell you next door. You know how long it took me to write just this much? Two months. I've hidden this note from you for that long and probably will for much longer. We are about to celebrate our one month anniversary. Can't you tell me you love me at least one more time?_

_I can't hold on to me._

_Wonder what's wrong with me._

_What's wrong, love? Do you miss the old Ino? The submissive one? The one who always did what you said? Well she's gone now! You killed her! How do you feel about that? Knowing your little bitch is gone? How could you? You hurt me, Shikamaru. You were drunk. You came into the room and tied me while I slept. I'm your wife. You didn't need to do that! You raped your own wife you Teme! Fuck you!_

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside._

_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without..._

_Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow._

_I'm sorry for yelling at you, Hun. I love you. You remember our vows? When we said through sickness and health? Well, I'm sick. Very sick. I need you. You aren't here. I'm locked up, I don't want to be locked up! I forgot what happiness was. I forgot what sadness is. I forgot pain and misery. Damn it I forgot everything! Expect Numbness... and love. I can't forget love. I love you._

_Don't want to let it lay me down this time._

_Drown my will to fly._

_You can't hurt me anymore, Shikamaru. Does that hurt you? You can no longer bruise me or beat me.. How does that make you feel? Weak? Hurt? In pain, maybe? I love you. I love you so much that it hurts me. You can't hurt me. I hurt myself! Would that make you happy? If I hurt myself for you? Or do you feel better when you leave the scares yourself? I want to make you happy. Hurt me. Be happy._

_Here in the darkness I know myself._

_Can't break free until I let it go._

_I like to hurt myself though, love. The pain makes me happy. Can't I be happy too? You're yelling again. Is it that bitch? She can't meet you? Someone else to fuck tonight and no time for you I see. It's okay. Take your anger out on me. Make me feel your pain. I want to feel it. If she can't give you pleasure by sex, I'll give you pleasure by pain. Does that sound good to you? Fair trade. My pain, which makes me happy, for your pleasure, which makes you happy?_

_Let me go._

_You don't love me, do you? That's why I'm doing this! So you can be happy, and I can be free. Let me go, Shikamaru. Let me be free! I will be free, whether you want me too or not! I promise you that._

_Darling, I forgive you..._

_After all, anything is better than to be alone._

_Never mind, love. I forgive you. I want to stay in your possession. I want to be your possession. Make me feel again. Make us both happy. Pleasure for pain, remember? Almost a year and a half now we've been married. I don't want to be alone anymore, baby. Make me happy. Make yourself happy. Then we can both be happy. Happy. Together._

_And in the end I guess I had to fall._

_Always find my place among the ashes._

_She's pregnant with your kid. I heard the conversation. It's been two years now. You're not leaving me, right? You can't leave me. You're already gone. Fuck the bitch. It's not yours. She is lying. Don't leave me, alone again. We were both being so happy. Pleasure for pain! Pleasure for pain! Pleasure for pain!_

_I can't hold on to me._

_Wonder what's wrong with me._

_I'm pregnant! I haven't told you yet.. That bitch just had her baby. She looks like you. I saw the picture. You were there for your daughter's birth. That's good. She's cute. I'm glad. Maybe mine is a boy? He's yours. Remember the last time you raped me? That's it! He was created!_

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside._

_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without..._

_Lithium, ...Stay in love with you._

_I'm gone. You're reading this and I'm gone. I'm sorry. Your son is with me still though! I'm naming him Asuma. Like sensei? That's why you hurt so much, right? Because Sensei died? Well here he is! Reborn! But not born.. We are both gone. I love you, Shikamaru. So does Asuma! We love you, daddy!_

_I'm gonna let it go._

...

**Beta: **_Serene-Aspiration723_

...

**Well, here it is! Hopefully you guys like it, and read my first one, "Missing".**

**Thanks guys! Love ya!**

**Review, please!**

**Byee**

**~ 119**


End file.
